USS Atlas - Catering, Nutrition, and Kitchen Services Log

[xxFadeIntoMistxx Schism]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
=/\= KITCHEN LOG =/\=
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Stardate: 230306
Prepared by: Te'ellis Illanchua
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

All appliances operating at capacity. While I think the mixer has been losing power by a few kolems every month, it is not an appreciable amount to warrant replacement. I anticipate that the mixer will live out it's usefulness by October of this year. A separate list of replicator malfunctions sent to Engineering. They are constantly broken and probably should be removed. I once AGAIN renew my recommendation that the replicators are doing more harm than good.

Incident involving Lt. Bowar and taking a turkey to the face has been addressed. I have spoken to Lt. Bowar and explained that entering the fridge without my presence results in various weight distributions to be disrupted. I cannot help if when the door is opened, a 15 pound thawing bird is launched from the shelf due to the sudden disruption in gravitational symmetry. I have requested an apology, in writing. Once this has been fulfilled, several items will be returned to the menu. And his nose is FINE. He wasn't that attractive in the first place. I don't see the cause for complaint. If anything, it's added character to his boring face.

I encourage command to remind the crew that balancing items in the fridge can be difficult, and care should be taken not to open any doors in the kitchen without proper kitchen staff supervision.

I deny the accusation of rigging a catapult. It was a plate with an unfortunately placed spring that appears to have deployed. I will examine this in the coming weeks.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
=/\= CURRENT INVENTORY (UPDATES) =/\=
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

All measurements rounded to the nearest krian.
Poultry: 1,200 krians (less 1,000 krians)
Meat: 2,200 krians (less 2,060)
Flour: 4,431 krians (replicated to create equilibrium)
Item list C: 70 units
Item list K: 12 units
Item list M: short 26 vrams.
Counts for list P-T same as December (the note I took off of the stove had the amounts)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
=/\= NOTES and STATISTICS =/\=
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Will need extra alternatives for pork.
Plomeek soup- Hetani
Lt. Bowar prefers Romaine lettuce. Do not pick up Romaine under any circumstances until written apology has been presented.
Gingerbread ban remains in effect until November 1. This is due to observance of proper "holiday season". Gingerbread men have been replaced with molasses men.

Average number of people served per day: 30.4
Average number of meals per day: 87.2
Total meals served for month of Februrary: 2,711
Most popular item (replicator malfunction notwithstanding): Ale cake with icing, mussels in skartanin sauce

===================

In Service,

Te'ellis Illanchua
Civilian
USS Atlas

[xxFadeIntoMistxx Schism]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
=/\= INTERNAL COMMUNICATION =/\=
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Stardate: 230320
Prepared by: Te'ellis Illanchua
Recipient: Drewski Northman
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
To Captain Northman, commanding officer of the USS Atlas.
You have been a bold and caring commanding officer thus far in your assignment. I find you to be the sort of man that would stand up equally for his crew, family, and his friends. I think this is because on some level you consider your crew to also be your friends and family. As such, I'm eminently sure that you want an incident report about the events that transpired on the SS tranquility. I would imagine that from an outside perspective that the manner in which I was brought to the ambassador would have looked inappropriate. I am not disinclined to agree, however I am sure it would not happen again. I am requesting that we forgo reporting this.
Relations between my people and Starfleet have been tense at best and war at worse. My concern is that putting in an official report of complaint would further those tensions. Instead, I would like our people to positively work toward a more amicable state. I would hate for something as minor as an altercation put that tenuous relationship at risk. I probably know better than anyone else on board that even minor entanglements can be exaggerated and used against Starfleet.
I find the human capacity for forgiveness to be remarkably vast. Your ability to move on is something that should be admired. I'm asking you, both as my Captain and as my friend. as someone I consider a friend. I would greatly appreciate it, Drew.
Thank you for your consideration.
Te

[xxFadeIntoMistxx Schism]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
=/\= KITCHEN LOG =/\=
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Stardate: 230306
Prepared by: Te'ellis Illanchua
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Restocking was delayed due to minor inconvenience aboard the SS Tranquility. The matter has been settled. Lt. Rowar has procured the items needed to restock the kitchen. Request for written apology rescinded. Kitchen operations will resume upon departure. All calls to the kitchen not pertaining to food orders have been blocked except for department heads and up. Normal call volume will continue in 48 hours.

Kitchen staff... alright just myself... I did not flip off our XO. I had an itch in my eye, and vinegar on my hand. I must be selective as to what finger I use to scratch said eye. I was simply checking before I caused myself a medical incident.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
=/\= CURRENT INVENTORY (UPDATES) =/\=
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

All requests have been filled except item list M. Stocks have been replenished.
Item list M: short 26 vrams.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------
=/\= NOTES and STATISTICS =/\=
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Romaine lettuce has been returned to the menu.

Miniature sandwiches have been re-initiated as snackable counter products.

===================

In Service,

Te'ellis Illanchua, CEC
Civilian
USS Atlas

[xxFadeIntoMistxx Schism]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
=/\= INTERNAL COMMUNICATION =/\=
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Stardate: 230328
Prepared by: Te'ellis Illanchua
Recipient: Doctor Emma King
Cc: Capt. Drewski Northman
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Your balance has improved tremendously, but there are still instances of instability. You have gotten good at facing off against simulated attackers but you need more work in real scenarios. I think losing the predictability of programmed opponents will help you keep your balance better.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
=/\= PRACTICE =/\=
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Practice your stance. We're going to get you to "push the feeling into the ground." You managed to draw some blood. I'm not going to go as easy on you next time. It's gonna be a fun, so come prepared.

Bring some dermal and osteo regenerators with you.

===================

In Service,

Te'ellis Illanchua, CEC
Civilian
USS Atlas

[xxFadeIntoMistxx Schism]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
=/\= INTERNAL COMMUNICATION =/\=
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Stardate: 230403
Prepared by: Te'ellis Illanchua
Recipient: Doctor Emma King
Cc: Capt. Drewski Northman
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I like your progress. I want to make sure we don't lose sight of the fact that this is for your balance. So you're getting better when you're focusing. But balance is a 24/7 activity. So... as you go about your day, I'll randomly be testing your balance. When you walk down the hall, when you're doing your paperwork... there will be random balance checks.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
=/\= PRACTICE =/\=
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

No need to change your practice. I'll take care of the balance checks... hehehe

And for the record, dermal regenerator returned to sickbay to Nurse Kellye on stardate 230403.2034.

===================

In Service,

Te'ellis Illanchua, CEC
Civilian
USS Atlas

[xxFadeIntoMistxx Schism]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
=/\= MISSION REPORT =/\=
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Stardate: 230430
Prepared by: Te'ellis Illanchua
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I remember I was on a long cargo flight through the beta quadrant. The person next to me gave me what he thought was a helpful hint. If you're nervous, just take your shoes off and make fists with your feet.

This is a bunch of nonsense. Clearly, he was an idiot. I should have left my shoes on...

When we arrived at the D'Derridex, things appeared to be normal. It was actually an important day for Romulans. It was the eve of our annual winter harvest festival. Such festivities were already underway... as was the Telepathic Empire's plan. A small number of immune crew members were being held hostage. I was not aware until later that Garubah was after the access codes to the data core vault, which gets activated upon shield shutdown. Not having our comm badges active, I could only contact Ensign Direwolf Straaf by the occasional wall console. When we were able to communicate, they proved to be a helpful voice, even if it was just to talk. I think the conversations in between helped keep me rooted and sane.

After multiple run-ins with Garbah's telepathic henchmen, I saw no choice but to find a more covert means of moving about the ship. The fight with one of the henchmen to get the explosives detonator was a bit clumsy, but it got done. I'm a chef. What kind of fighting do you expect from me other than battling a lobster into a pot? Either way, I couldn't keep moving in the open. Life support airflow allows the movement of breathable air throughout the entirety of the ship. I resorted to moving through these air ducts to get around. On deck 35, I was finally able to find out what Garubah's plan was. A few of his cronies were talking about the hostages and some other details of the plan. It was almost pure luck that I had heard them. At least I was able to fit in the air ducts.

One complaint... these air ducts are FILTHY!!! I swear my shirt was white when I went in, and was almost black by the time I got out of them...

One thing was clear. I needed some distractions. The TE had rigged the Rovaran with explosives, but if I could get to them first, I could use those explosives to my advantage instead. I needed that detonator... which I got. Direwolf continued to work in engineering, and answer my calls when I could make them... but I couldn't make any calls from the ducts.

I had decided I couldn't stay in those ducts forever. With the help of remote kemocite detonators, occasional explosions served as distractions. But there was a larger plan at work. As I got close to the booster, I had run across one of the escaped hostages. What luck! Kalay and I talked for a moment. He seemed a bit off, but we teamed up, and I gave him a disruptor to protect himself with. It was a matter of seconds before he pointed it at me and demanded that I drop my own and return his detonator. Clearly, I was right in thinking that there were explosives on the roof. That confirmed for me that Kalay was actually Garubah. What he didn't know was that I had already removed the power cell from his disruptor. I'm not an idiot. Unfortunately, the lift had arrived at the floor, and Garuba escaped while I dealt with a disruptor fight. The exchange of fire had left transparent aluminum all over the floor.

Whoever that guy was who suggested that I take off my shoes... what an idiot!

I had to get the hostages to the roof, but don't ask me how I got them up there. It's a bit of a blur at this point. As important as those hostages were, the psionic booster on deck 30 was more important. Unfortunately, I found myself on the roof with a Romulan duty shuttle attempting to gun me down. My only chance to get out of there before the explosives on the roof were detonated was to grab a tether, wrap it around me, and take a leap of faith. It was not a second too soon, as a massive explosion happened behind me. I'm sure it looked amazing in space, with the reduced gravity causing it to be slow-moving...

Does whatever happened next really matter? Bla bla bla blew up the psionic booster, bla bla bla saved all the crew, bla bla... The anti-psionic medicine is giving me a horrible headache.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
=/\= OUTCOME =/\=
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Yippee ki-yay mother...

===================

In Service,
Te'ellis Illanchua, CEC
Civilian
USS Atlas

SpoilerShow

((If you're thinking this is Die Hard... you're right. ))