Personal Log- Ruth Mistwallow aka TPrai Helix

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TPraiHelix
UFS Civilian
UFS Civilian

110617.1418

There on the table in her new temporary crew quarters on board the USS Cultass, is a small laptop resting on the spartan table. Sitting in front of it, Ruth types in her enntry code and password, and says " Computer Personal Log entry Stardate 110617
Computer response.....Personal Log voice verification entry code and password acknowledged
When I was a cadet I knew time went by and that the federation would make me grow, but not like this. I feel like that prodigal daughter.
I left intel because I thought my journey led me there. Only to realize that my true home was actually in Intel. *smiles*
They were right. My talents belong here. And what is more, what I need to learn is here.
What was it I heard, maturity is knowing how much you do not know......
As a cadet I was eager to show how much I thought I knew. Now I know I have some experience, but I also know the dangers of being overeager.

As a cadet I did not know at all who I was really. Now I know I am proud to be the half orion/half human daughter of Kermie Mistwallow
and Brandy Mumblewood. To have a family and be accepted is a wonderful and precious thing, not to be taken for granted.

One big lesson was to figure out who to hang out with. It took me a while but now I have some good mentors. Some good people who I trust.
They know who they are. *smiles*
With their help and hard work which I am committed to continue with. I will be receiving my promotion to Lieutenant and an award of a Silver shield.
*pauses for a moment* Most people were not there that day when because of the "Phantom" officier's lives were being threatened. I was not intending anything but to do my job and protect those under my charge. That was my oath. I am proud of that action. I guess the award symbolizes that. *smiles slowly*

Now I am on the USS Cutlass for a EID mission that I cannot mention even here but my heart....that is back with my family on my family's sim. I know my parents are with me and are proud of me. My heart is back at UFS at the Welcome Centre 1 welcoming new cadets aboard. My heart is with all my UFS friends ....hoping they know that what I do is in service.

Computer End log and send it to intel only as per orders in file
Ending Log, Acknowledged
TPraiHelix
UFS Civilian
UFS Civilian

110624.0436

Open's Her Keypad and encrypts personal code
I hope this will be readable and that someone in intel will read it.
*sighs* It is the best I can do in these circumstances.
I am here, made up as an Orion slave girl, my Dad Kermie would love the green.
I decided to rent a place nearby. I can always say my Master gave me the money.....
I got a hud and titler, and their weapons..not that it will do much good...but just in case.
I have not seen 1 soul .
The area so far is completely deserted.
I am awaiting Buck to make a survey again and check in at the safe location.
He should be on soon.
I have not seen or heard from Daddy.
Will check in again.
out
Turns off Keypad
TPraiHelix
UFS Civilian
UFS Civilian

110624.0858

Well they told me to write here. It's interesting that even with a partner, you find yourself more isolated than when your alone in a crowded room.
TPraiHelix
UFS Civilian
UFS Civilian

110625.1546

Earlier yesterday, met with Buck to investigate space coordinates. Took pictures and recorded coordinates to send to command.
Saw a strange ring (owned by Orion Swords) following our ship. As we could not ascertain its function, we left and we were ordered to stay low for a bit.
We were able to use a safe house I was able to rent close to the city and close to A.B's place. I have a scanner and listening bot ready when we need it. It also has an escape function as well.
Was ordered to safe house Alpha and met with part of the team their. Was able to get some information about the resources and problems in the area and to kickstart the idea that I am the head science officier for the away team on the surface (Lt. Jose Sauber's idea) and that Alpha Colony will cooperate in any way with our objectives.
During my discussion with Buck, the following things became clear to me that could be of use to us:
1. all of the people who are trusted by the Orion swords are women (Buck is not, and has not been given the confidence of any tech ie: ship devices etc).
2. the fear is sexual and fear based
3. Aurilieus plans to open up a club in the area, something I have the a) experience in b) equipment and c) qualified dj experience and training
I proposed to Buck that I be introduced as a DJ manager that could possibly help him with his objectives.
and to dress smexy.
It is a dangerous proposal for both of us...But we are not making much headway this way.
i will be armed.
and have an excape .
I hope.
*grimaces*
We are now on R&R,
I love the free time....but I get bored easily.
TPraiHelix
UFS Civilian
UFS Civilian

110706.1533

Sits at a desk in her home, switches on her laptop and says while entering her personal authorization
" Computer being personal log, Ruth Mistwallow -TPrai 040709


A lot of things are going through my mind tonight. When I found myself back in intel it is like going back home, but
I am not the TPrai they remember. I am not the cadet that said nothing and just agreed with everything.
I am the Ruth with some security and science experience under my belt, 2 awards, and 2 promotions, and yes I earned them.
I saved those officers on the Aviator from getting killed and I am proud of that.
But I do remember the guy who got sacrificed who I could not protect. I will live with that to.
I also remember how hard it was to have the honor to do my duty and report to command about the Alexandria. It was not something I wanted to do,
but something I had to do, to protect the crew there and UFS as a whole. I stand by my actions.

So here I am a Lieutenant in EID in Intel and loving it. Yet, why do I have this awful feeling something is going wrong.
Went there yesterday and submitted my report to Caly this morning about what I saw.
but that is a side issue from my mission.
There may be alternatives to my feeling, yet I am getting this awful feeling of dread when I walk down the road.
I cannot shake it and I cannot tell where its coming from.
My feelings are usuallly pretty good.
Its driving me crazy.
TPraiHelix
UFS Civilian
UFS Civilian

110710.1434

Went to Mort's party...things going well.
May require additional help to penetrate Orion House.

Lt. Ruth Mistwallow out.
TPraiHelix
UFS Civilian
UFS Civilian

110804.2245

Activates Computer Pad from a safe location at her mission site
Computer begin Personal Log and encrypt...Please send also to Lt. Titanium Director EID and Galia Ladyl Director Intel Standard Intel Encryption Codes

Have completed mission on SR and have sent mission report and documents.
Awaiting transport to Pinastri Station.
Send word for rendezvous me and Padre for the ride please.

In Service
Lt. TPrai Helix (aka Ruth Mistwallow)
Intel EID
TPraiHelix
UFS Civilian
UFS Civilian

110814.0800

Sits at home and watches the sunset outside her window. Computer begin Personal Log, Password XXXXXX Ruth Mistmumble. ...... Computer Acknowledges Password. Begin Personal Log.

Sighs
In some ways the last couple of weeks have been quite challenging and productive. In other ways, it has forced me to face some issues I thought were long past.
But is the past really ever really gone? Not really. All we can do is deal with it, make peace with it, and overcome it, and never ever let it get us down.
But we are not machines, and we make mistakes.
As do others, who have their own issues, competitions, and prejudices though they will never admit it.
I grew up with scapegoating before-as a new kid in school, as a gay girl in high school, as a overly bright one and as a handicaped one.
The list is endless why someone would want to ostracize you. Usually I found out that at one time or another they were afraid of being ostracized themselves.

Whatever the reason for laughing or bullying at another, no matter the provocation, there are reasons but no excuses.
I have always tried to take responsibility even if that meant making hard choices that would mean disapproval from my family and others for doing the right thing.
I know what it means to go hungry. To be ill with an illness with no cure. To be afraid at night.
These feelings isolate us and do not bring us together.
UFS brings us together.
I have tried and continue to try to be a responsible ufs officier by doing my duty, and calling for backup when I am out of depth.
I try to be a mature person who acts with honor and integrity by taking responsibility for my actions even if I was wrong.
I have done these things.
As long as I have done those things, I am a person with respect who can look myself in the mirrow .
I have nothing to be ashamed of .
I will continue to learn and try my best to grow in this service.
As I have overcome other obstacles I will overcome more.
Computer End Personal Log, .......Ending Personal Log....OUt.
TPraiHelix
UFS Civilian
UFS Civilian

110927.0910

Computer begin personal log, regular encryption
Beginning Personal Log, regular encryption Noted.....

Looks at the walls of the ship while performing her calculations
So I thought when I left the desert planet of AR, and met the Orion's there, that that would be the last but noooo
here I go again...but into Orion space with all the inherent dangers that may mean to me personally.
I love my Dad, but being part Orion has not only its pleasures but its pains to. sighs
Like when you get really happy or emotional and you want to impress the person....I suddenly turn green on them..I can get rather disconcerting to say the least.
*smiles*
On the other hand, it can be a useful reason to being in this space. After all in a sense I belong here do I not?
A good reason...but a dangerous one...if someone wishes or needs Orion women slaves....
Here as in Al'raquis I suddenly become a commodity if anybody gets that idea.
So...have to trend carefully, watch my back and of course being security conscious everybody elses.
*smiles* Its nice to be back in the field again.
*gets a tea for herself and Kazia and goes back to their space*
TPraiHelix
UFS Civilian
UFS Civilian

111002.2138

*correction to last sentence in last entry===*gets tea for herself and Jessica and then goes about her duties*
TPraiHelix
UFS Civilian
UFS Civilian

120118.0805

Looks out the window of her study from her new house and sighs hesitant to begin this communication.

Computer begin personal log and send it to Intelligence Team Leaders named below:
Director of Intelligence Galia Ladyl
Lt. Commander JessicaClaudia Maynard
Lt. Commander Calypso Titanium
Commander Gijsjan Broek
Lieutenant Buck Ghostraven

I have reached a point in my life that I thought would never come, where I would have to withdraw from UFS because I could not longer contemplate making appointments, meetings, or roleplay commitments on a regular basis because of my real life.

I am not the type of person to waste time with wasted words. I speak with meaning and from the heart, and usually with purpose. So I will say now, that each of you have in meaningful ways become important to me not only in sl, but in my real life as well.
I hope to return, but I am sending you this note because I do not think its fair to keep you all hanging for me.
I hope to see you happy in sl whenever I have a free moment.
And, I send my thoughts of you whereever you may go.
Know then, that each of you are special to yourselves and have much to give each other, yourselves, and to the world.

I sign finally this transmission
Lt. TPrai Helix
Intel
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