Director of Fleet Security-Titania Lionheart's Personal Log

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Titania Lionheart
UFS Civilian
UFS Civilian

100210.1454

Walks into her new quarters and sets her box of personal items down on her desk and sits down at it. takes a deep breath then leans forward and pulls out a picture of her kids.  Computer Start personal log... *looks around her office.* Welcome to the new office. *traces the faces of her kids* The job...the new life... I hope I will do security proud. Everyone seems to have faith in me. Its such an honor. *sets the picture on her desk* Now to get to business and lets get this going on the right foot. *sits up in her chair*
I will post some more once I get more settled. Computer end log.
Titania Lionheart
UFS Civilian
UFS Civilian

100322.1936

*walks into her office and sits on the chair for a moment places her head in her hands and takes a deep breath.*
computer dim the lights by 50%.

*lifts her head up* " That is better."

Computer start Personal log.

Stardate... *rubs her head* 100322.

Well... been on the job here for over a month now. I am still getting lost.But learning my way around. I am trying to get setup a monthly drill for the fleet security. and I need to speak with the CoS on the ships and find out when they Do there missions so i can help cadets pick a ship that will work with them. Getting the MSR's on time is kinda of a chore. But I think it will get easier. *rubs her head more*

Well my personal life as gone to hell in a hand basket... *takes a deep breath and tries not to cry.*
Well first things... Doug and Myself tried to adopt a few kids that needed homes. We both had a soft spot for kids. I was so busy planning the wedding that i must have missed something. The day of the wedding was good... or so it seemed at the time...everyone was there... all my family..my best friend Carnage was there to. I was glad to see him. Uncle Kermie walked me down the aisle... mom threatened Doug... the kids were there. And the Honeymoon was fun... and well *reaching down to her tummy* anyway as I was saying..the following few weeks...something went sideways with the kids and doug. All the kids left except for my teenager Amy. Doug changed..in that time.. became angry and bitter...and *sighs* just being around all that poisoned our relationship. He would be around and complain about being angry and just sit in one spot not wanting to do anything other then just be angry...He couldn't let it go...I couldn't be around that. So with a heavy heart I told him he needed to work out that anger...so I called it off. The thing is that day...I had found out that am pregnant..and with twins.. a boy and girl. I tried to ask him for help with the names. He told me to just pick them out. So I asked my Friend Carnage to help me I was going to make him the godfather. But after all this he said he would step up and be there for me. Which after all this I needed it. So the names will be Alexander James and Lily Rose. They won't be with us until July. But I can't wait. I will someday get this whole relationship thing figured out. *sighs and rubs her head*

Well that is all i have for now. Just taking it day at a time.. to quote from an old song...

"We lose our way,
We get back up again
It's never too late to get back up again,
One day you will shine again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever,
Lose our way,
We get back up again,
So get up, get up,
You gonna shine again,
Never too late to get back up again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever
May be knocked down but not out forever...But there's always scars, When you fall that far..."


Things will get better...it will just take time...and well it all i have...*sets her head in her hands again.*

Computer end log.



*grabs a few  data pads and gets up and walks out of her office.*
Titania Lionheart
UFS Civilian
UFS Civilian

100417.1004

*sits on the edge of her bed in her dark room* "I wish my mind would settle..." *walking over the replicator* "Warm milk please." *takes the glass of milk and drinks it all down. in the process her hand going down to her stomach and realizing they weren't there anymore. she sighed and place the glass down and blinks back the tears and takes a deep breath and walks over to her desk. Looking out her window at the stars. she looses it and starts crying uncontrolably. Laying her head on her desk. Talking to herself.*  "Ana pull it together." *taking another deep breath wiping the tears from her face she walks over to her sink in the bathroom and splashes cold water on her face. wiping her face with a towel and yells inside the towel. Then looks at herself in the mirror. walks back to her desk and sits down turning her chair to look outside.*  " Computer start log." *noise can be heard.*
" Stardate 090417. I have been back from my LOA for about a week now. I had alot to think about while I was gone. I didn't tell anyone...but I lost the twins with all the stress...I guess the timing wasn't right. *sighs* That is why I took the LOA. That and I had to get my thoughts in order. I decided while I was gone that I missed being on missions and being able to help more. So I talked to the boss man when I came back I will be transfering back to the Caracas. I will start packing once orders are put in.
*sighs*  Computer end log.

*sitting back in my chair I close my eyes. take a deep breath and walks back over to her bed and lays down. Curling into a ball and starts to cry. after a few moment falling a sleep crying.*
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