Ask Yourself!

The Deputy Commander UF Starfleet assists the office of the Commander in Chief with the overall direction of UFS.

Moderator: Kermie Mistwallow

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Kassiequandrii Resident
Intelligence - Lieutenant JG
Intelligence - Lieutenant JG
Posts: 104
Joined: 220617.1111
Duty Post: Intelligence Officer
Ship/Station Posted: SS Astraios
Grid: 3rd Rock Grid
Has thanked: 218 times
Been thanked: 130 times
Contact:

220804.1613

Ferre Flamand wrote:
220804.1248
It's touching to see how people can react and try to cheer me up / convince me. My message was maybe a bit too negative, I just wondered what function I should have. It's because almost everybody in my team has a fleet-function except me. I felt a bit "inactive" in that way. It's not that I'm going to let my head hang down or so :) I'm maybe a bit too impatient ;)
Ferre, I've got to confess, I've been envious of you. You've got a solid place in RP, you've got a whole chain of command enouraging you, training you, and wanting the best for you.

The cool thing about UFS is that there's something for everyone, and no need to do things that aren't interesting in order to have a great experience. If you've found the things that fit you and are fun, that's great! Don't worry about what other people think is fun, or what you "should" be doing. Enjoy yourself!

And be sure lots of people think you're making a great contribution :)
SirenaWaterdottir Resident
UFSMC - Major
UFSMC - Major
Posts: 34
Joined: 191227.0106
Duty Post: Marine, OiC
Ship/Station Posted: USS Thor NCC-122355
Grid: Secondlife
Has thanked: 10 times
Been thanked: 21 times
Contact:

220804.2314

Ferre Flamand wrote:
220804.1248
It's touching to see how people can react and try to cheer me up / convince me. My message was maybe a bit too negative, I just wondered what function I should have. It's because almost everybody in my team has a fleet-function except me. I felt a bit "inactive" in that way. It's not that I'm going to let my head hang down or so :) I'm maybe a bit too impatient ;)
Hey,

We all have that feeling at some point in life. Before I became Academy Yeoman, I felt the same. I felt that I needed to do more to be an active member of UFS. So, I did. I applied to become the Academy Yeoman. Keep your eyes out for fleet positions to open and apply, if you are not sure of it trust that they will train you and you will pick it up. But just serving your ship makes you not inactive, I am sure that you are a valued member of your crew and of UFS.

Keep your chin up, you are doing great!

Semper fi.
Major
Sirena Wood
16th Detachment, Officer in Charge
USS Thor
Academy Yeoman
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Ferre Flamand
Sciences - Lieutenant
Sciences - Lieutenant
Posts: 354
Joined: 211111.0543
Duty Post: Vice Chief Science Officer
Ship/Station Posted: SS Tranquility
Grid: Second Life
Location: Belgium
Has thanked: 184 times
Been thanked: 54 times
Contact:

220804.2330

I have to admit that my "drama queen/attention whore-level" was a bit high that day, I just had a small "dip" and I wanted to ventilate it somewhere. Anyhow, thx for the support, I already "picked up the pieces" and back in business again :)
Vice Chief Science Officer
SS Tranquility
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Kermie Mistwallow
Command - Admiral
Command - Admiral
Posts: 3088
Joined: 081121.1030
Duty Post: Deputy CinC, UF Starfleet
Ship/Station Posted: Headquarters
Grid: Second Life
Location: England, United Kingdom
Has thanked: 53 times
Been thanked: 614 times
Contact:

220805.0312

You choose what you do in UFS. As we always say, you get out of it what you put in.

That being said, whether you Roleplay, or do admin work, it ALL contributes to UFS. Every member in this group is part of the machine. EVERY member is valid, vital and appreciated, Even if we don't say it enough

YOU ARE ALL APPRECIATED, So Thank You
Admiral
Deputy Commander in Chief
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Lizzy Gracemount
Medical - Commodore
Medical - Commodore
Posts: 473
Joined: 160518.1957
Duty Post:
Ship/Station Posted: Pinastri Headquarters
Grid: Second Life
Location: Idaho
Has thanked: 147 times
Been thanked: 120 times
Contact:

220806.0700

I've learned to keep my roles down the hard way so I can have a good UFS/Life Balance. I have issues saying "No" to people even if I'm overwhelmed or have too much going on, so that can build up until I "break" and then I'm no longer happy. I have PTSD, anxiety, agoraphobia, and several physical health issues and up until February, my family was full-time caregivers for my dad. That can all build up until I feel like I'm cracking. If I'm not careful, I can become overwhelmed and trigger things like insomnia, stress, pain, etc. It can all build up until you crack. There are people who take on more than they can chew need to step back and ask themselves a few questions: Can I do this? Do I have time for this?

A few years ago, I was a blogger, full-time caregiver in RL, CompOps, RFL team captain, and several more things. Every time someone came to me asking me if I would help with something they needed, I would say yes. I didn't want to let anyone down by saying "no." It took me a long time and a lot of therapy to realize that I didn't need to say "yes" to everyone who came to me with a task they needed help with. It would be okay to say "no" and people wouldn't be upset with me. That's not saying some people weren't upset when I told them "no" but after years of saying "yes" to them for free work, they got over it.

I was so busy back then, that I no longer had time for the things that I enjoyed doing. Like art and being creative, writing, and overall enjoying myself with friends inworld and in RL or with family and those I consider family. I wasn't happy. I had to eliminate a lot of roles in my life to create a good work/life balance and be happy again. And I'm glad that I did because that allowed me to spend some more time with my dad before he passed away.

So I'm glad there's a 3 billet rule. It will allow others to become more active in the group by picking up roles that were taken by people with more than three roles. It ensures that members don't overwhelm themselves with too much and that gives them an option... If they want the new role, they have to decide what other role to let go of... In other words, it allows someone else to shine for awhile.
“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” —Bob Marley

"Set course for Relay, Warp Factor 9!" ~ Kermie

“A man either lives life as it happens to him, meets it head-on and licks it, or he turns his back on it and starts to wither away.” –Dr. Boyce, “The Menagerie,” (“The Cage”)

“Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end.” – Mr. Spock, Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
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Kassiequandrii Resident
Intelligence - Lieutenant JG
Intelligence - Lieutenant JG
Posts: 104
Joined: 220617.1111
Duty Post: Intelligence Officer
Ship/Station Posted: SS Astraios
Grid: 3rd Rock Grid
Has thanked: 218 times
Been thanked: 130 times
Contact:

220806.0916

Lizzy Gracemount wrote:
220806.0700
I've learned to keep my roles down the hard way so I can have a good UFS/Life Balance.
Lizzy, thank you for this - you really stated clearly something that's been on my mind. I've cyclically overcommitted and then burned out throughout my life, and I've really been working on breaking that pattern - in work, in relationships, and in my hobbies.

One of the amazing things about UFS is how many old-timers there are: this group is full of people who've successfully managed that hobby/life balance, and they're an inspiration to me.

I'm really glad for the three-billet rule, both to keep me in check and to open up opportunities for me and the other new folks joining us regularly.

It doesn't mean I'm not having to make some hard choices about where to spend my time and energy, when there's so much cool stuff to be done. But it helps!
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